A New Job for Mommy!

I have mentioned before that this week coming up was the dreaded week of me heading back to work, but there has been a development. It has taken me a while to sort out how I felt about the situation so that I could talk about it. There are still things that Matt and I have to work out, but I am more at peace with the situation now and am able to talk about it with out crying.

Many of you know that I worked at the corporate office of a Staffing company. Along with many other companies in the world today they have had to make some cut backs. They started to happen late last year, but we all had hope that things were about to turn the corner. When I left work to head to the hospital to have Kellen, I had this feeling that I would not be returning to work for some reason or another. Well that reason became known a couple of weeks ago.....

I was on the phone with my boss and she let me know that there was something that she needed to tell me...at that moment I think the world stopped. I think I had an out of body experience as she told me that they were going to have to stay where they were and that they were not going to be able to have me back. She told me that Axiom was my home and that they were all working really hard to get me back to where I belonged. After I got off the phone I sat on the stairs for a while crying and not understanding why this was happening to me. What were we going to do? We had just had a baby...what were we going to do??? I was so afraid to call Matt and tell him, since it was during the peak of tax season I did not want to add anymore stress. But all I wanted was to talk to him and hear him say it will all be okay. He is the most amazing man I know...He said everything I needed to hear..."Everything will be okay" and "Now you get to spend some extra time with Kellen" and "You are where you are needed right now" and "We will make everything work"!!! I was still hurting, but I felt this huge weight lifted off of me as Matt talked to me.

Even though I know that it was a business decision and it was nothing against me, it is hard to not take it personally. I was so proud of my job, I love the company and the people were my family. They had been though my wedding planning with me and my pregnancy and through many other milestones in my life. I just can't imagine working anywhere else. Then I started to really dread going back to work...one of my coworkers said it was so hard to come back to work after having her baby, but because she worked at such a wonderful company it made it easier. I became angry that I would not have that. I told my mom that when I find another job it will be so hard to leave Kellen and I will be surrounded by strangers that will probably think I am strange for sitting at my desk and crying! For a good week I just felt bitterness in my heart. It took me a while to figure out why and what I was bitter about. Then once I realized what it was the bitterness melted. I was not bitter at the decision that was made or why it was made I was bitter about the whole situation. I am not one for change...having a baby is a huge change and I welcomed that change, but then to add losing my job on top of the big change that were already happening...I was ready to break.

After I was able to see past the bitterness and the hurt, I welcomed this change. I realized what a blessing that I was given. I now get to spend some extra time at home with Kellen. I know that I can't stay home forever, but for now I can enjoy some time with my little man. He is changing so much...we are hitting some new milestones and I know that a few more are in the near future. He is really starting to have a personality and even though he is showing some signs of my temper...it is too cute! So for now my new job tittle is Mommy!!!


  1. Well Stephanie...all things work out for a reason and even when we cant see the end results...God has a plan and we have to put faith in him that his plan is perfect. I hope you enjoy your time with Kellen and I trust the Lord that the right job will come along for you. I will be praying for you. While you wait enjoy each day with handsome!!!

  2. Whatever your years, there is in every being's heart the love of wonder, the undaunted challenges of events, the unfailing childlike appetite for what comes next, and the joy of the game of life.
    By Douglas MacArthur

    Each day is a gift from God. Receive, enjoy and trust.

    I love you!!


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