I wouldn't change a thing...

FYI:  This is a LONG one so I am okay if you don't make it all the way through...but I did dig up some old pictures (they are scanned in so the quality is not the greatest)!

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life and everything I have been through and this is what I came up with... 


Oh how my life has changed...


And I would not change a single thing, because I know God has a plan for my life.

I really would not change anything in my life.  I have a couple of regrets, but those were in High School and really what 16 year old makes ALL the right choices.  They really are silly regrets...such as dating a certain boy and giving up cheerleading & Volleyball to work so that I could pay for the car I wanted so I wouldn't have to share one with my brother!  Really...other than that I wouldn't change a thing...

I wouldn't change...the fact that at the age of 19 I got on a plane for the the first time and flew across the country to work for a family I had only talked to on the phone.  I had seen pictures of the kids, but never the parents.  I got off the plane and Danica said she didn't think it was me, because I acted like I knew who I was looking for.  God knew that I was strong enough to get through it...because moving from a town of 3500 people in Montana is A LOT different that living in down town Atlanta!  It was a culture shock and I mean a HUGE culture SHOCK!!!  But I listened to my Dad when he said, "Don't come back...there is nothing here for you".  It was a little harsh, but SO true.  I think God was making sure I got the message!

 Graduation Day (1997)     Lewis Family 1998-1999

Leonard Family 1999-2000  ~ ~ ~ ~  Bressler Family 2000 - 2003

I wouldn't change...the fact that a few weeks before I was to move back home I met Matt online (before it was cool...it was on msn personal ads) and I also was offered another nanny position.  God knew what he was doing and at the time even though I didn't know if there was a God...maybe a higher power in the universe, but a God...nah!

 One of our first pictures together ~ ~ ~ Celebrating our 4 Year "Dating" Anniversary

 Christmas & New Years 2001

New Years 2005

I wouldn't change...the fact that Matt and I were together forever 5 years before he proposed to me with his Grandmother's diamond...I love my ring!!!
  I wouldn't change...the fact that we had to go through, drug issues, gambling debt, depression, job loss, or lack of money along with all of the good things.  I probably would change the fact that I drank a lot before Matt actually asked me to marry him and I don't really remember what he said.  If you ask him, I grabbed it and started running around and yelling "I got it, I got it"!!!  But I really don't think that is what I did...I am not really that dramatic! 

I wouldn't change...the fact that two years into our marriage we made the decision to wait to have kids so that I could go back to school and finish...then we would talk about having kids.  Little did we know that as we made those plans, God was laughing (and the picture I have in my head is one of God laughing REALLY hard).  Because literally as we were making those plans...I was already pregnant.  

I wouldn't change...the fact that Kellen was a total surprise and we were over the moon about the news.  I was always so afraid to admit that I wanted to have a baby...I was (and still am) so afraid that I will not be a good mama and I will pass on all of the "issues"  I have (I will save those "issues" for another post).  But God knew that I was missing something, but just didn't know it want to admit it!  I also wouldn't change the fact that at that moment I KNEW there was a God and everything was going to work out just right!  

I wouldn't change...the fact that I was let go from my job that I loved and just knew in my heart that it was my forever job...it was where I belonged!  I believe this was all part of God's plan.  I just knew that when I had kids I would continue working and I would NOT be a stay-at-home mama!   But I knew the minute I held him I didn't want to go back.  I wanted to stay at home with him.  So when I got the dreaded call that my position was being eliminated I was more afraid to tell Matt than what the future held.  

I might have changed the fact that I had to go back to work as a temp and it was awful.  Kellen was sick all the time and it broke my heart that I had to take him to daycare when he was SO not feeling good.  But I wouldn't change the friendships that I made while I was there and it really helped me make up my mind that I didn't want to work.  So God jumped in again and my position was eliminated.  I also believe that God was working on Matt's heart at this time, because he was SO understanding and wanted to make sure that I was able to stay at home.  

I wouldn't change...the fact that a couple months later Matt was let go from his job.  I wouldn't change the 6 months that we got with him at home...even when it was a little trying to have SO much together time.  I wouldn't change the fact that we didn't know how we were going to pay our bils and even when the scary letters started coming about our home being foreclosed on I knew it would all be okay (that doesn't mean I didn't stress, but there was a sense of peace in my heart).  

I wouldn't change...the fact that during this time we found a church home and we were welcomed with open arms.  I wouldn't change the fact that we have the most awesome family and friends.  They showed us SO much support (and still do).  I wouldn't change the fact that we REALLY learned the power of prayer!!!  I have seen some answered prayers!  Once again God was there with us when Matt found another job just in time!  Our house was saved & It was just in time for the Holidays!!!  We have a lot of catching up to do, but we will get there one day! 

I wouldn't change...the fact that through it all we have stayed healthy, we still love each other, and we are together as a family.  I am not going to say that our marriage is perfect!  The stress from the last year had taken a toll and we will have to do some rebuilding and relearning on how to communicate.  

The biggest lesson I have learned is that while we can plan and plan our lives...God ALWAYS gets the last laugh has a plan!  But I wouldn't have it any other way!!!