Let it begin...

IT has been said that "Laughter is the best medicine" and I would have to agree.  Even in my darkest moments, laughter can help lighten the mood around me.  And there is just something about when a baby giggles that can bring me to tears of joy.  

IN this season of my life, laughter should be all around me...with a 4 month old that is trying so hard to learn the art of laughter and a 4 year old that LOVES to laugh and tell jokes.  BUT I seem to be too busy or too stressed or too tired to stop and enjoy the laughter in my house.  On the days that I do stop and watch Kellen and his daddy play and listen to laughter I am overwhelmed with love...

BUT those days are few and far between that I actually sit back and enjoy the "happiness" around me.  I seem to be caught up in this web of sadness and anger...most of the anger, stress; worries and sadness are over trivial things.  Most of these things could probably be solved by communicating my feelings.  But I am a "bottler"...I will stuff all of my feelings deep down until the day that I can't handle it anymore and I blow...most of the time the victim to this volcano of feelings is Matt.  This will leave me full of guilt and wanting to say “I’m sorry” and take back everything that I just said, because the words that just came out of my mouth were so hateful…

BUT instead, I will usually retreat to my room or studio and begin to “bottle” again.  I just cannot do it anymore for myself, my marriage and my children.  I want to learn to communicate those feelings and begin to “un-bottle” all the things holding me back from being the wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend that I want to be. 

SO this is the beginning of letting go and working through all the things that are holding me back from those simple moments of happiness and truly let myself be happy!  I want to be able to hear all the laughter in my house and around me.  This is my journey of adding laughter to my everyday life!

My sweet babies...January 2013

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