May 13, 2006
Before we were married we went through so many ups and downs that today most things don't even compare. Our relationship has survived, multiple job losses, depression, drugs, a $5,000 gambling loss on a single football game, and legal problems that would have changed Matt's career of becoming a CPA. But through it all we always had each other and we both believed that better days were ahead of us. We always continued to laugh and dream about our future! I firmly believe that if we would have married before all this happened that we would not have made it. I feel like we had to go through those things to really know that we were made for each other. On the up side, Matt returned to school, gave up the "recreationals", we got engaged, we sold his house (that was in a not-so-nice neighborhood) and rented a house from his dad. We were able to repair our credit, pay off some credit card debt and both landed great jobs.
Things seemed to be headed in the right direction and soon after that we were married. A year later we were able to buy "our" first house, and a year after that Matt graduated from KSU and we were pregnant with Kellen. Things could not have been more perfect. Since Kellen was born we have hit some more down times, but I believe it is all because God has something bigger and better planned for our lives. In January, I lost my job due to lack of work and have been blessed to be able to be at home with Kellen. I have been able to be there for so many of his "firsts". I have been introduced to Mary Kay and it continues to amaze me in the personal growth that I have seen since starting my business.
A little over a week ago Matt was let go from his job. I was so freaked out, because the last time that he lost his job he went into a deep depression and spent most days smoking the aforementioned "recreationals"and playing Playstation. But Matt had other ideas! He told me very confidently that this is the reason he went back to school and got a degree in accounting. He now had a career that he knew there would always be a job available he just had to find it! So for the last week we have been able to hang out with Daddy. Matt has been so positive through everything. He is now on the hunt for a new job and hoping to get one before his severance runs out! :o) He had not been happy there for some time so we believe that maybe this was God's way of giving Matt a little push to find a job that is closer to home and maybe a little bit more money. But what ever it is, Kellen and I are enjoying having some "daddy time"!!!
So back to Matt's question...."why is our relationship so strong"? I believe it is because we communicate very well....we really do tell each other everything. I don't think there is a such a thing as a "secret" in our house hold. We believe in each other and one of us will always pull the heavy weight when one of us is down. I do have to admit that Matt is the stronger one of the two of us and he does put up with a lot of stuff. Now I am not saying that our relationship is perfect...we argue just as much as the rest of them do, but we believe that that is healthy every now and then! I think Matt knows me better than I know myself. He usually knows something is bothering me before I do! He knows that when I get mad it usually is that I am mad at myself or something else, but he is getting the brunt of it. He just tries to not to take anything to heart! Matt has helped me see that I need to say "I love you" always because you just never know what tomorrow will bring! Even if you are angry at someone you should fix that relationship because you would feel pretty crappy if something happened to them and you didn't at least try! We have been through many hard times and only get stronger. Our faith continues to grow. We have gone from not knowing if there was any form of higher power to believing there is something out there, to believing that there is a God and he does know what he is doing and he has bigger and better plans for us. We have been so blessed that we now know it is not just good Karma! :o) Yes we continue to plan and yes God continues to laugh at us and show us his plans.
So that is where we are today. We have grown SO much in the last 4 years, but I could not have imagined it any other way. Yesterday we took Kellen to the playground and I was reminded of what I have been given. I sat on the swing and watched Kellen and Matt play. I am in awe of the little person that we are raising and how much he changes almost daily. Even though he has no words yet, he is one smart cookie! You can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he is trying to figure things out. He loves to scribble and I am on the search to get him some art supplies! But any time he finds a pencil or pen, he is on the hunt for something to scribble on! :o) We blessed and can not wait to see what God has planned for us next!
